What Can You Do When Your Husband Ignores You?

Marriage Counseling NYC

What Can You Do When Your Husband Ignores You?

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Is your husband acting cold and distant towards you? It’s annoying when you constantly argue with your husband, but when you’re ignored, then that can signal more serious problems in your marriage. When your husband ignores you, don’t try to dismiss the situation. It is a red flag! Make sure you know how to handle the situation so it does not go from bad to worse. Here are steps on What do you do when your husband ignores you!!

Why Do Husbands Ignore Their Wives?

Wives who are ignored by their husband are in a troubling situation. It often leaves them questioning what they have done wrong to warrant such a treatment from their spouse. 

These are some of the possible reasons why husbands ignore their wives for you to ponder on:

  • Wives sometimes nag their husbands too much and too frequently

  • Small disagreements accumulate, leaving him feeling angry and frustrated

  • Stress at work

  • Getting bored in the relationship

  • Financial conflict in the marriage

  • Feeling guilty for cheating

Some of the above reasons are extreme cases. Regardless of which of these reasons apply to your marriage, make sure to identify the cause immediately and find ways to resolve them before it spirals into a more serious issue. 

When Your Husband Ignores You: 7 Tips to Deal with it

Don’t resign yourself to the idea that you’ll have an unhappy marriage. If you’re able to pinpoint the reason why your husband ignores you, there are many things that you can do about the situation. 

1. Re-Establish Communication

Communication is the most critical aspect when resolving any issues in a marriage. When your husband ignores you, take a step forward and initiate communication with him. Men normally ignore you when they are upset or angry about something. Give him the chance to communicate his feelings toward you so that you can get to the root of the problem. 

When initiating talk with your husband, do not shut him up. Do not get into an argument with him either. Your goal is to have a healthy conversation with your husband about the issue. Stay on topic and avoid discussing past issues you have already resolved. 

tips in dealing with husbands who ignore their wives

2. Give Him Some Space

Some husbands like to ignore you because they want some space. Respect that and give him the space that he needs. He will open up when he is ready. 

Space is a good thing for any relationship. If you feel like your husband is ignoring you, don’t swarm him with questions right away. Instead, give him what you feel is an adequate amount of time to reflect on his own. If you ask him questions too soon, it will only cause friction and you won’t get the answers you are looking for.

3. Stay Positive

Maintain a positive outlook, even if his behavior is worrying you. In some cases, negative energy can cause tension inside your home. It is easy for you to fall into a negative spiral and assume the worst, such as your husband might be having an affair.

Unless you have solid evidence to assume the worst, then do not entertain the thought. Instead, stay strong and be the positive force he might need in his life. Continue to be there and care for him. Your husband will soften up in time, especially if he sees how you are treating him with kindness. 

4. Avoid Arguing With Him

It’s undeniably frustrating when your husband ignores you and won’t talk to you. However, picking a fight with him won’t help the situation at all. It will only push him further away from you and might even lead to him developing resentment. Always approach things with a cool head and calm demeanor.

5. Analyze the Situation

Is this behavior new or is this a recurring tendency for your husband? If the former applies, then think about what events have transpired recently that have triggered him to act this way. Is it something you said or have done? 

By analyzing the situation, you will have a better grip of the situation and the ways to properly handle it. Your ability to pinpoint what has caused your husband to ignore you will enable you to arrive at a solution much faster. 

6. Revive the Spark

A lot of husbands simply ignore their wives because they’ve become bored with the relationship. It’s not impossible, since you start your marriage with chemistry and a spark and then the reality of married life sinks in. The monotonous routine can make him yearn for something new and exciting.

If this is the case in your marriage, then you might want to look for ways to revive the spark. Instead of waiting on your husband to ask you out for dates, you can try surprising him instead. Give him something new to look forward to in your marriage.

7. Keep Yourself Busy

Instead of moping about because your husband is ignoring you, do something productive for yourself. As much as you want to take care of your husband, do not forget about yourself. 

Stay busy by doing things that you enjoy most or spending time with your friends. The more you spend time on your own and away from your husband, the more he will realize the importance of having you in his life. Use this as an opportunity to remind him of that. 

When Your Husband Ignores You: When to Seek Counseling

A lot of couples in troubled marriages turn to a marriage counselor for help. This is a great opportunity for you to work out issues within your marriage that you are unable to resolve on your own. When your husband ignores you, counseling is definitely the best option available.

A marriage counselor can serve as a mediator as you openly discuss issues affecting your marriage. A lot of spouses are able to open up in this setting because they are aware there is a neutral observer that can provide them with guidance in the process of conflict resolution. 

There is no right or wrong answer as to when you should seek counseling. However, it is a must if you are unable to resolve issues in your marriage on your own. It is not a magical solution for when your husband ignores you, but it can help you gain insight as to why he is behaving a certain way and what you can do about it. 


  • Travis Atkinson

    Travis Atkinson, L.C.S.W., is the Director and Creator of the Loving at Your Best Plan. He has extensive training in marriage and couples therapy, based on over 27 years in practice, earning certificates from top-rated couples therapy models, including: *Certified Advanced Schema Therapist, Supervisor and Trainer for Individuals and Couples *Certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist and Supervisor *Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist *Certified Group Psychotherapist *Honorary Lifetime Member of the International Society of Schema Therapy Travis is a co-author of the latest schema mode therapy inventory, the SMI. He is also the co-author of two chapters in the recently published “Creative Methods in Schema Therapy: Advances and Innovation in Clinical Practice (Routledge, 2020) and author of “Schema Therapy for Couples: Healing Partners in a Relationship” in the Handbook of Schema Therapy (Wiley-Blackwell, 2012).

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