Top Signs Of A Selfish Husband: Why Is He Like That?

Marriage Counseling NYC

Top Signs Of A Selfish Husband: Why Is He Like That?

Table of Contents

Marriage experts believe that one of the secrets to a successful marriage is to put your spouse first. By doing so, you provide security, comfort, and stability for your spouse. This is an important foundation to every marriage to thrive while feeling supported and loved. But what if you have a selfish husband? This can be a serious red flag in a marriage, so make sure you know how to identify it and take the appropriate actions. 

Signs of a Selfish Husband

Being married to a selfish husband is like a living nightmare. This type of husband is someone who looks after his own needs ahead of his spouse. He does not take into account the feelings and needs of his spouse as long as his own are met. As a result, his wife feels neglected and disrespected.

You might think that it is easy to spot a selfish husband. However, it’s not always so obvious. Here are some of the warning signs you need to keep an eye out for if you want to know if you are dealing with a selfish husband.

Sign 1: He thinks he is always right.

Does your husband behave in such a way that he thinks he does nothing wrong? Then, he could be what is considered a selfish husband.

Open and honest communication is essential to a healthy marriage. This means that you have to be willing to acknowledge when you are wrong. If your husband cannot do this, then it signals narcissistic behavior. And narcissistic and selfish personalities go hand in hand.

Sign 2: He shows no interest in your interests.

A selfish person is someone who is consumed only in their own interests. As a couple, you need to spend time doing things that you enjoy together. 

However, if he is only interested in his own hobbies, your husband is definitely selfish. While it is completely healthy to have separate interests to grow as individuals, when he refuses to develop an interest in your hobbies and passions in life, then that says a lot about him.

A healthy marriage consists of two individuals that support each other. If there is no support, your marriage won’t be able to grow and thrive.

Top Signs Of A Selfish Husband

Sign 3: He wants to be dominant – all the time!

Husbands and men in general have the natural propensity to want to be dominant in a relationship. Some women even like a dominant male who knows how to take charge.

However, it is a different thing when he wants to be in charge all the time. He always makes the decision for the both of you and does not even consult your opinion when making these decisions. 

Out of respect for your marriage, any important decision that affects you both should be discussed by the two of you. If that is not the case, then you are dealing with a selfish husband.

Sign 4: He refuses to apologize.

It takes a big man to be able to acknowledge his mistakes and apologize. If your husband cannot do that, then he is exhibiting a selfish personality. 

Selfish people like to blame others when things go wrong or in the event of a conflict. They are never introspective because they can’t think of themselves as capable of making such mistakes. Instead of accepting criticism, they often lash out. 

Sign 5: He never appreciates you.

A great husband is someone who acknowledges the effort and contributions made by their spouses in the marriage. If you haven’t heard or been shown any acts of appreciation from your husband, he is certainly selfish.

One of the secrets to a loving marriage is for you to give appreciation to each other from time to time, even in small things. For example, a loving husband is someone who treats you to a dinner date once a week so you can get a rest from cooking. 

It is the little things that he does to show appreciation that strengthens a marriage. If your husband isn’t making an effort, then you have a serious problem.

Sign 6: He does not reach out after a fight.

It is common for couples to fight and bicker from time to time. However, most couples reconcile immediately and discuss what can be done to address the cause of the fighting.

If your husband does not attempt to reach out to you after a fight, it is a tell-tale sign of selfish behavior. He has way too much pride to reach out and make the initial point of communication. For him, it is not about reconciliation but proving to you that he is on the winning side. 

Unfortunately, there are no winners when couples argue. But selfish husbands do not see it that way. 

Sign 7: He takes you for granted.

Selfish husbands think that you have nowhere else to go. He thinks that no matter how he treats you, you will never leave his side. 

He ends up taking you for granted because of that idea. He does not make any romantic gestures. He does not respect your time. Despite all of these, he still thinks that you will come crawling back to him. 

This can also often translate in the bedroom. He only cares about being sexually satisfied and is not bothered about how you feel, or if you are satisfied at all.

Sign 8: He is self-absorbed.

This is the ultimate manifestation of selfish behavior in your husband. He lives in his own little world where he is the boss. He does not care about you, or your family and friends. 

He is too consumed by his own needs and well-being that he fails to recognize that you have your own needs too. 

What Causes a Selfish Husband?

It might seem like a puzzle to you why your husband behaves the way he does. However, there are several reasons why he develops this kind of behavior, such as the following:

  • Traumatic experience from his childhood

  • Male chauvinism

  • Insecurities and low self-esteem

  • Stress from work

  • Birth of a child

Identifying the cause of your husband’s selfish behavior is the first step to addressing the problem. If you believe that this behavior is affecting your marriage to the point that you are at risk of getting a divorce, then you could seek professional help to find ways to deal with the issue in the most effective manner.


  • Travis Atkinson

    Travis Atkinson, L.C.S.W., is the Director and Creator of the Loving at Your Best Plan. He has extensive training in marriage and couples therapy, based on over 27 years in practice, earning certificates from top-rated couples therapy models, including: *Certified Advanced Schema Therapist, Supervisor and Trainer for Individuals and Couples *Certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist and Supervisor *Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist *Certified Group Psychotherapist *Honorary Lifetime Member of the International Society of Schema Therapy Travis is a co-author of the latest schema mode therapy inventory, the SMI. He is also the co-author of two chapters in the recently published “Creative Methods in Schema Therapy: Advances and Innovation in Clinical Practice (Routledge, 2020) and author of “Schema Therapy for Couples: Healing Partners in a Relationship” in the Handbook of Schema Therapy (Wiley-Blackwell, 2012).

    View all posts
Share This :

Recent Post

Call Us Now!

Verified by MonsterInsights