How to Deal with and Stop Anxiety from Ruining Your Marriage

How to Save My Marriage

How to Deal with and Stop Anxiety from Ruining Your Marriage

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Anyone living with anxiety will tell you how difficult it is emotionally, mentally, and physically. It can trigger a sense of panic, fear, and a general sense of uneasiness. Anxiety can also bleed into different aspects of your life, including marriage. Is your husband’s anxiety ruining your marriage? Don’t despair. This marital issue is more common than you think.

However, you can’t let it go either. You must know how to handle the situation to save your marriage and help your spouse overcome those anxious thoughts.

Why is My Husband Anxious?

Almost everyone goes through periods of struggle in their marriage. However, when your husband is experiencing anxiety, it is more difficult to overcome than other marital challenges.

While anxiety is more commonly associated with women, men could also suffer from it. One in five men will experience anxiety at some point in their lives, which isn’t surprising if your husband suffers from it. However, experts suspect that more men are left undiagnosed and untreated for anxiety, since they are less likely to talk about it compared with women who have anxiety.

Therefore, men with anxiety are at a high risk of suicide. It is important that as a wife you look out for signs that your husband has anxiety, to ensure that you can get treatment for their condition.

Signs Your Husband Has Anxiety

The signs are different for every person. However, the following are good indicators that your husband has anxiety:

  • Catastrophic thinking (always thinking that something bad will happen)

  • Excess worrying

  • Excess drinking

  • Inability to concentrate

  • Constant suspicion

  • Paranoia

  • Irritability

  • Inability to show affection

  • Feelings of loneliness

  • Overreaction to minor issues

  • Chronic fatigue

  • Controlling behavior

  • Negative mindset

  • Aggressiveness (towards spouse)

If your husband exhibits one or more of these behaviors, they may have an anxiety disorder. A lack of understanding of anxiety can ruin your marriage. You must know how to deal with anxiety in your marriage before it affects you negatively.

How Anxiety Affects a Marriage

The impact of your husband’s anxiety is felt in various aspects of your marriage. Below are some of the ways that it can affect your marriage. It is essential to bring awareness to these so you can take steps to keep them from ruining your relationship.

  • Your anxious husband is unable to perform their basic household routines. You have to make special plans or arrangements to accommodate their needs. The wife must take on the other responsibilities the husband cannot fulfil, which adds to their physical and mental burden.

  • Your anxious husband tends to avoid social situations. As a result, the wife’s social life is also affected by it. You can end up feeling isolated.

  • Your anxious husband feels sad and depressed. They could also be angry and resentful towards you. Therefore, there is a lack of emotional support and intimacy in the marriage.

  • Your anxious husband is unable to keep or get a job due to their disorder. Your husband’s inability to get a job could impact your family’s finances. The wife becomes the sole breadwinner of the family, which adds more stress to the marriage. impact of husband's anxiety to your marriage

How to Deal with Anxiety in a Marriage

Living with anxiety is never easy. If one partner in a marriage has anxiety, it can strain your relationship over time, no matter how supportive you try to be. Your inability to address anxiety issues can be frustrating for both parties because your needs aren’t being met.

You can defuse tense situations by understanding things from the perspective of your loved one. The most important thing is that you work together as a team so that you can overcome these hurdles in your marriage.

1. Don’t try to ‘fix’ your spouse

As mentioned above, anxiety is a condition and not a behavior. You don’t overcome anxiety in marriage by trying to ‘fix’ your spouse since they are not broken or meant to be fixed. Your spouse does not want to hear about something that is wrong with them that you want to ‘fix’.

Instead, give them loving support by telling them how you appreciate them. They are already overwhelmed by negative physical, mental, and emotional thoughts, and the last thing they want to hear is that they’re crazy or broken.

If your spouse reaches out to you, give them your full support. Do not dismiss them aside. You can also get professional support for their anxiety. Professionals are better able to handle the situation instead of you.

2. Avoid dismissing their feelings

If your husband is feeling anxious, it is easy to dismiss their feelings by telling them “you’re fine!” or that they have nothing to worry about. However, this is an insensitive approach and can only add stress to the person living with anxiety. Help them validate their feelings by acknowledging them.

3. Focus on the good

Even if some days you have to dig deep to find them, it always helps your marriage to survive if you focus on the things you are grateful for. Once you identify those good things, dwell on them. The best way to overcome anxious thoughts and anxiety from ruining your marriage is thinking positively.

4. Be Supportive

Even if you can’t help to treat your husband’s anxiety, you can make things easier for them by being supportive. There are several ways to show your support, such as learning more about anxiety disorder, encouraging your spouse to seek treatment, showing positive reinforcement when they exhibit positive behavior, and acknowledging that you don’t understand what they’re going through.

Is Your Husband’s Anxiety Ruining Your Marriage?

Helping a spouse deal with anxiety is like filling a bottomless bucket with water. It can be frustrating for you, the wife, to be in such a helpless situation. However, there is no problem with seeking help for yourself, especially from a professional. You can get counseling for your marriage to get the support you need to handle the difficulties of living with anxiety in a marriage.

You should also seek a professional to help with your spouse’s anxiety. These professionals can understand and navigate the difficulties of treating anxiety disorders that you can’t. These are vital steps you must take if you want to save your marriage.


  • Travis Atkinson

    Travis Atkinson, L.C.S.W., is the Director and Creator of the Loving at Your Best Plan. He has extensive training in marriage and couples therapy, based on over 27 years in practice, earning certificates from top-rated couples therapy models, including: *Certified Advanced Schema Therapist, Supervisor and Trainer for Individuals and Couples *Certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist and Supervisor *Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist *Certified Group Psychotherapist *Honorary Lifetime Member of the International Society of Schema Therapy Travis is a co-author of the latest schema mode therapy inventory, the SMI. He is also the co-author of two chapters in the recently published “Creative Methods in Schema Therapy: Advances and Innovation in Clinical Practice (Routledge, 2020) and author of “Schema Therapy for Couples: Healing Partners in a Relationship” in the Handbook of Schema Therapy (Wiley-Blackwell, 2012).

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