Now That New York is Opening Up More and More, Is It Time To Get Help For Your Marriage or Love Relationship?
Alongside every other challenge we’ve faced throughout the past year, the COVID-19 pandemic has put our relationships to the test. Couples have been cooped up with one another for months on end, shining a light on their relationships’ strengths, along with their not so shiny weaknesses.
Even in the best of times, marriages and love relationships take time and effort to sustain. However, the pandemic has strained even the healthiest of relationships. If you are like a lot of couples, you probably have been struggling with your partner or spouse as you both try to work, take care of your kids, cope with possible financial stressors, and fight over other pressures that cause stress, all of which may have taken a toll on your relationship.
How Has the Pandemic Affected Couples in New York?
For many couples, the pandemic promoted new opportunities to get to know one another. Some learned how to better interact with each other in a time of hardship. They took full advantage of the new opportunities and learned things about each other they had never known before.
Outside of the couples who flourished during crisis,, just as many partners struggled with the effects of the pandemic. According to a recent study, at least 27% of couples reported that the pandemic had worsened their relationship.
Let’s Take a Look at Some of the Most Prevalent Issues Couples Have Faced:
Financial stress: The AFS found that 34% of married men and women under age 55 reported that the pandemic increased dissatisfaction in their marriage. Stress was highest among those who suffered financially due to COVID, especially in industries devoted by the pandemic like travel and entertainment. Additionally, almost half (45%) of all couples reported their relationship had faced new stressors among those whose finances worsened.
Mental health issues: One survey found that 20% of people experienced mental health issues while living with their partner during the pandemic. As a result, some couples experienced heightened anxiety, which created additional strain on their relationship. Anxiety can present itself as symptoms of irritability or anger, and as a result, some partners found themselves arguing more often. If partners already struggled with depression or anxiety, other problems may have developed, including a decrease in libido and intimacy. The pandemic took a drastic toll on passion and romance, since anxiety can easily overwhelm feelings of desire.
Boredom: Days may have seemed to blend into each other over the last year, leaving little to no time to worry about planning a night out or spending quality time together. However, since novelty is one of the critical components of a satisfying relationship, it’s not all that surprising that boredom may have caused tension in your marriage or love relationship. Without the ability to venture out and do things with one another, you may have felt more stagnant in your marriage.. If you’ve noticed spending less time and effort cultivating attraction and romantic anticipation, your intimacy may have weakened from the pandemic.
Disagreements over safety issues: The ongoing changes and uncertainty, along with divisions over rules and guidelines throughout the pandemic, including controversies over masks, social distancing, risk factors to contracting the virus, and debates over vaccination. For example, at one point, you may have been concerned about the risk of contracting covid from surfaces, only to later discover that the risk is low. These sudden shifts and unexpected changes about the virus and how to stay safe, in addition to political upheaval and other stressors, may have stirred up disagreements in your marriage, or relationships with your family or in-laws. It’s easy to understand why many partners weren’t as patient or understanding with each other during the pandemic as they usually may have been.
Perceiving that your spouse or partner is responsive to you is particularly important to minimizing conflict, maintaining intimacy, and increasing the satisfaction in your relationship, especially in crisis times.
Too much time together: A lack of solitude was another primary concern for couples. According to a recent, 28% of partners said they’d experienced too much time with their spouse during stay-at-home mandates. Having some time alone is another critical component to healthy psychological well-being, and couples who were together all the time may have missed their needed decompression time alone.
Too much time apart: For other couples in romantic relationships, the pandemic forced them to spend more time apart from their mates due to work obligations, like first-line responders. Essential workers, for example, worked long days and nights, resulting in spending less time with their partners. This factor, along with the ongoing worry about a loved one getting exposed to the virus, negatively affected their marriages.
The Good News
But there was also some good news. Increased commitment and appreciation were higher for couples who saw their financial fortunes fall in the wake of COVID. Some 65% of married adults whose financial situation got worse said the pandemic has made them appreciate their spouse more, and 60% said it has also deepened their commitment to their marriage.
Opportunities for Growth
While life during the COVID-19 pandemic is straining some relationships, it’s creating an opportunity for growth in others.
Whether your relationship is in trouble or you’re looking for ways to strengthen it, we can help you find the “cure” for your relationship difficulties through marriage and couples counseling and therapy in NYC. While there have been apparent wear and tears on romantic unions, partners can also persist as a source of strength, kindness, and unity moving forward.
Seeking the help of a professional is one of the best ways to reconcile your marriage effectively. They can help you confront the issues of trust within your marriage in a non-judgmental way. That way, you and your spouse can deal with the emotions without ending up blaming each other.
Couples Therapy NYC
Now is the time to evaluate your marriage and fix what isn’t working.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) has shown significant improvements in helping distressed couples and marriages.
In a nutshell, EFT is a therapeutic approach that helps distressed couples shift the way they interact with one another; rather than changing particular behaviors, EFT focuses on changing the emotional engagement between one another.
For example, couples work on conflict resolution skills, like remaining calm, even during stressful, heated arguments. As reactions become healthier and couples learn to manage, the couple’s bond is slowly strengthened and deepened.
When you get together with a therapist trained in therapies like EFT, the therapist is there to guide and facilitate healing. Still, you, as the couple, also have to commit to doing the work it may take to improve or even save your marriage.
As you start to notice improvements and changes within your relationship, your mindset will shift from ‘enemy’ to ‘partner’ in conflict. Perceiving one another as partners in crime, per se, automatically encourages you to cooperate more with each other as you work towards a common goal —ultimately feeling more satisfied in your relationship with each other.
Taking the First Step
If you find having conversations are difficult or adjusting to post-pandemic lockdown is causing distress (such as feeling overwhelmed, anxious, withdrawing, being more irritable), a licensed therapist who is an expert in marriage and couples therapy can make all the difference in your marriage.
We make it easy for you to schedule your first session and get your relationship back on track as soon as possible. Choose your preferred option, and schedule an appointment now:
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We offer an extensive range of services, including marriage and couples counseling and therapy in NYC, webinars, workshops, individual therapy, and group therapy.
Remember, no marriage is perfect. Each relationship has its own culture, and comes with its own highs and lows. If you’re still struggling as we shift to a new ‘normal,’ take charge and help your marriage or love relationship give you the satisfaction and joy you desire.