The 10 Most Important Questions to Ask a Cheating Husband

How to Save My Marriage

The 10 Most Important Questions to Ask a Cheating Husband

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Devastation and hurt can consume you when you discover that your husband has been cheating on you. If you find yourself in this situation, you might be filled with unanswered questions. You want to know what drove your husband to cheat and for how long it has been going on. You need the information to come to grips with the situation and to know where you went wrong in the relationship. These are the 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse if you want to learn how to proceed with your marriage.

10 Questions to Ask Your Unfaithful Spouse

The following are the top 10 questions to ask a cheating husband so you can get the answers you need – and deserve. Whether you are looking for answers or closure, this will help you better understand the situation you are in and make an informed decision moving forward.

1. How did you give yourself permission to cheat?

This question is an important one to ask your cheating husband so you can rationalize their decision to have an affair. This will, hopefully, help you come to understand what they felt granted them permission to cheat.

For example, some husbands permit themselves to cheat because they feel neglected by their wives. Whatever the reason your husband gives you, it will provide an insight into what can be done to improve the relationship.

2. How did you feel after the affair? Was there any guilt at all?

This is a great question to ask to assess your spouse’s moral compass. If they are any normal husbands, then they would feel some guilt about what they have done, no matter what it is that pushed them to have an affair. If they don’t feel guilty, then you are not on the same wavelength as your husband about monogamy in your relationship.

3. Is this the first time you’ve cheated on me?

If your husband cheated on you, there is a high probability that this isn’t the first time they have done this. A lot of cheating husbands are serial cheaters. Whether or not they had a full-blown affair, it is important for you to know so that you can determine if they have the ability to change their behavior.

op 10 questions to ask a cheating husband

4. Did you think about me?

This is a painful question to ask since you might not like the answer that your spouse gives you. Nonetheless, you need to confront them with this question.

A lot of wives fear that they can’t bear the answer so they choose to forego asking this question. However, it’s an important question since the answer will allow you to measure your spouse’s emotional investment towards you.

5. Did you tell her about us?

Is the lover of your spouse aware that he’s even married? Regardless of the answer, it still hurts to think that your spouse opted to proceed with the affair. However, you need to ask this question so you can also gain some insight into what your spouse’s lover feels about being the mistress, and why they chose to be in this complicated situation.

6. How long has this been going on?

Even if you just found out about the affair, you have no assurance about how long it has been going on. It could have been months or years! It is an important matter to address because you want to know if you can still salvage the marriage.

If it is a one-night stand, it won’t likely last and could’ve been a mistake. But if it is a long-term affair, you must think about the possibility that your husband could be emotionally invested in the other person.

7. What did she offer to you that I never did?

It is a common question that a lot of women ask when they find out their husband is cheating on them. You begin to question yourself right away. What did I do wrong? Where was I lacking? What did she do better than me?

Getting the answer to this question will help you understand – and work on fulfilling – whatever it is that is lacking in your marriage.

8. Was it hard to keep lying to me?

You cannot always expect an honest answer to this as many unfaithful husbands will try to cover up their tracks. However, it is best to ask this question anyway to pick their brains a little.

Their answer to this question will also open your eyes to ways that you can improve communication within your marriage – if you choose to save your relationship.

common questions asked to cheating husbands

9 Do you still have feelings for her?

This is another tough one. A lot of cheaters (when caught) make promises to end the affair and make things right in your marriage. But do they really mean it? Or are they just saying things to appease you?

This question will once and for all put an end to any form of confusion about the status of your marriage. If they answer no, then you can work on fixing your marriage. If they answer yes, then you could think about how to move on from your failed marriage.

10. Did you talk about a future together?

Whether it is a short-term or long-term plan, it’s important for you to know how your spouse’s lover fits into your future. Their answer to this question will indicate their level of involvement with the other person. Encourage them to be honest with you so that you can make the right decision moving forward, for the sake of your marriage and for your own good.


The Bottom Line

These 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse might not give you the answer that you want – but they will give you the answers you need. There are only two paths moving forward from here: to stay together or to part ways for good.

Asking these questions will help you and your husband to confront any issues in your marriage, especially if you both agree to work through it and give your marriage another chance. If not, it will give you the closure you need. If you are struggling with coping with a cheating husband, you can always seek professional help such as a marriage counselor. You can get expert advice on how you can move on from this and prevent it from happening again.

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