Surviving turbulent times in your marriage or love relationship

We all want life to give us certainty, and all desire a sense of permanence. At the same time, there are moments when we are faced with the reality that life is uncertain, and volatile.

Despite advances in medicine, loss is unavoidable. We will lose people we love, and eventually, we will die. Navigating loss can challenge both our personal well-being and the connection in a marriage or love relationship.

When things get uncertain or painful, we reach for people we trust to help us through life’s storms. Is your partner emotionally available when you’re most vulnerable?

Does they provide soothing responses that help us feel connected, rather than isolated?

For couples, these moments of need define a relationship more than most anything else. We need our partner or spouse when the vulnerability hits us.

Long after the acute loss passes, soothing responses from a partner still matter. Often more than either person expects.

How This Plays Out in Relationships

For instance, the sudden death of a parent can bring overwhelming feelings of loss and grief to one partner. The intense need for understanding and comfort from the partner or spouse may never be higher.

Grief tends to come in waves, sometimes continuing for years after the loss.

Staying present when your partner is vulnerable is the challenge, even when the grief seems like it should be done.

Grief is messy. A caring partner shows up through the long haul.

Can you count on your partner when you’re most vulnerable? Do you feel safe enough to ask for what you need?

Have there been times in your marriage or love relationship when you’ve experienced intense vulnerability, and your partner or spouse let you down?

In a love relationship, consistent emotional responsiveness is what makes real security possible.

Not perfection, but enough reliability to trust your partner most of the time. That’s the foundation of a lasting marriage or love relationship.

The good news is that inviting and receiving positive responses is not the result of something we are “born with.” We can learn a set of skills that help us thrive in our love relationships.

With a secure connection, planning for the future and searching for deeper meaning becomes possible together. Comfort comes from being seen in your vulnerability by the person you love most, and receiving warmth that lessens the dread and isolation of life’s uncertainties.